I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
