Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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