It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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