Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
