Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
