he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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