If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
