where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i was born a porn star she said
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
