all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
