it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
