Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
