Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
