This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
