We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
