woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
