belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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