did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
