we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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