If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
