After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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