God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
