Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Randomize
