i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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