I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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