i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
