I heard we made out
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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