Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
