Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I have post one night stand depression
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