we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
