its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
