My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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