If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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