): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Acid is not a monday night drug
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize