Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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