I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
