Im at strip club and am horny
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
