It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
