I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
