butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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