Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
