Kiss
Puke
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
