Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize