We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
