he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
