Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
