rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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