i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
