Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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