they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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