oh god the rape fog is back!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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