did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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