Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
