I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
