I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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