The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Who died my cat blue again?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
