my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
