I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
