i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
