just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
