I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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